STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

I've been workig in Sale department as a meeting services coordinator for almost a month now. People is fine but work aint fine as Im so new to the job, I made so many mistakes even I hv no comment about myself... so stressful, I hv to correct the contract like 10 times before sending..... until when I can get used to it.... Why is it so difficult for me??? Am I stupid???? hey ya... so stress!!!!!

Broken Heart and Waiting, dont know what to do!!

Last Sunday, there was a really terrible thing happened to me. Doruk broke up w me, i was terribly sad, nothing could describe it. My heart was broken into pieces, if my parents werent there, I would go crazy and might kill myself. I imagined if it happened to me when I was in UK, I didnt even want to know about the result, maybe i would kill myself. Eventhough Im w my parents, it seems nothing happened to me but its not true, deep in my heart...I dont know what goona happen, he said he is fed up w evverything and want to break up, but 2 days later, he called me and said that he misses me, so confused. I really dont want to loose him, I dont care how difficult our future will be, I still wanna be w him. I just love him too much to loose him. Now i just can finger cross for our relationship. I really wish that I am not vietnamese so that I can be together w him. I could do everything for him, if my parents have money, I would definitly apply for my Master degree in switzerland long time ago already, unfortunately, because of my family's situation, I cant be in Switzerland, so sth bad happened. I really dont know what to do.... If he really leaves me, I dont think that I can be w anyone else as it wasnt easy for us to be together and we managed for more than 2 years already, so why cant we keep it???? If we really break up, i prmise myself that I will never open my heart again because it will be a really hug crack in my heart...... When I see all the stuffs from him, i just cry and cry even i told myself not to cry but tears just drop down. I know myself how much I love him.... its really hard to say when u have true love. its sth really intangible!!!! I cant imagine him w another girl even we break up.. I just cant, the only possible thing is that we hv to stop talking and really delete everyting frm him..... OH GOSH, WHAT TO DO!!!!!!! :(( :((

Loosing feeling!

Love is always complicated, especially when 2 person are so far away from each other. My boyfriend seems to change his feeling to me or is he just too busy to think about me??? I really dont know what he is thinking, Im somehow really upset because he doesnt care about me much like he used to do... I really miss him and love him so much, wish he knew that, nothing can describe my love for him, I wish that I could get visa and have a permit to work and stay in Switzerland w him, everything will get better for sure. It's so difficult for both of us, especially girls always think more than guys and always think about sill stuff, eventhough I know its wrong but still, cant stop thinking about it, think about the day that he would leave me if its really happend, I really dont know what I gonna do.... I just love him to much to loose him... I could do anything for him.... I wish that he's done w his study long time ago, then everything is so easy for us right now... I always stuck with this silly thing.... WHAT CAN I DO????????????????????' I really wanna cry out loud and scream to say that ' BABY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, WHY CANT YOU LOVE ME THE SAME WAY U USED TO BE?' Have I done anything wrong???? or he is just too excited with everything new around him. I wish that he could tell me all the things that he is thinking. A day without him is so miserable, I never thought that I would love a person this much! Will I derserve true love? Will we be together forever????? Thats what I really want but I dont know about my other half!!!!

Worrying!!!!

I gonna work in Sale Department next month, I dont know how well I can cooperate with my colleagues as I hv no experiences and everyone seems to be so good in Sale department, so much stress for me right now, not only because alot of compentency but also because I am named as studying abroad so the expectation is kinda high and I dont want to loose face, I have to keep my pride.... so much stress, dont know what to do.

On the other hand, my boss asked me to go up to sale office to learn about the system but some how, the time wasnt right for me, I always has the same working hours with sale department, therefore I couldnt get chance or time to go up there and learn. When my boss told me I felt that he is kinda angry because he my think that I am not putting my effort to get ready for my new challange in sale department, dont know what to do!!!!!!! I should get my ass up there 2moro i think... Heya... maybe u r thinking too much Silly LIly!!!

Already over 3 months in Vietnam!

Finally I have time to update my blog... I am now having my training in Banquet department, compare to Housekeeping and Front Office, Banquet is less organized I have to say. They work without any log book, I hate that the most and that's also the cause of all complaints and missed communication. In October, I gonna work for sale department as a Meeting service coordinator and I have to work with them, so It gonna be fun for me ha..ha..ha....
Time has passed so fast, my dear friends whom I met on the first days, are going to leave the hotel as their internship gonna end soon, I will miss them a lot, miss the time we got trained in Housekeeping together, miss the time we talk about silly things in the Canteen, miss our laughter :) Even though they are younger than me but somehow we got along quite well... Hope we can manage to meet up after they leave.
At this moment, I miss my dear boyfriend so much, I just wish that I could be in Switzerland right now so that I can see him and share my time with him.. An advice for anyone wants to hv a distant relationship, better not to have it as it is really tough and u gonna cry a lot.......(special advice for girls). But when u love someone, it's really hard to say... Anyways, I really love my boyfriend and I always give hope for this relationship :) Ich liebe dich so viel, mein Schatz!

Relationship is on the edge!

I and my bf had a talk the other day and he said that we should break up and stay friends, at that moment, i was so shocking and my heart felt painful so much... I cried alot , even though I know that he wouldnt have so much time for me in the future but I still believe in our love because I couldnt find any guy better than him, love me like he does. To be honest, It is really stupid for us to break up just because of distance and timing because I know that we love each other. Why 2 people loving each other cant be together??? Life is so unfair.... I was thinking about breaking up before but it will not work for me because If we break up, I dont want to talk to him anymore bcs everytime I talk to him I remember about the time we spent together and definately, I dont want to loose him and I dont want to stay friends.... I want to be his wife in the future... full stop!My best friend told me that this year is a breaking up year for those who is having Rat horoscope as it happened to her and her cousin, I hope it doesnt happen to me!!! We had 2 years of beautiful time together....!!! And those 2 years werent 2 easy year for both of us, I thought we are staying stronger and stronger, but now I dont know what he is thinking... Does he still love me??? Now I really hope that we can be together forever.... I wish that he knows how much I love him.... this is no lie... If i have to break up with him, I rather kill myself!.... life is so desperated without him! BABY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! YOU ARE THE ONE IN MY LIFE!

LIFE UPDATE!

It has been already 1 month since I start working at Park Hyatt Saigon, so far so good as people is treating me well over there. I made new friends and they are really nice people plus I got handsome and funny trainer though hahahahhaha.... Beside working, I got nothing to do, kinda boring life over here as well.... On the other hand, my bf is driving me crazy and insane, i thought that he could be free after exam to talk to me everyday and asking me, caring about but it's just my dream, he is apparently not free at all and we have no time to talk as he has to help his parents doing stuffs at home and all kind of excuses. I really cant stand with it, really fed up and just wanna give up with this relationship... My feeling is really S**** and all the time i have feeling that I am the only person who is supporting for this relationship, the only thing he could say is that 'nothing I can do'. What the F****!!! Gosh... tell me what I should do????? I am so so so tired!!!! please release me!

Back to Vietnam

I has been 1 month since I left UK. After leaving Shap, I was in London for 1 night and I enjoyed 1 night over there with my baby. We stayed at sheraton Heathrow and we went out for Chinese food, it was nice time and for sure I will not see my baby for the next few months :( Ater UK, I stopped over in Kuala Lumpur for 3 days to visit Mei Mei (my good friend from IHTTI). We had alot of fun and ofcourse eating alot heheh. It was really hot after coming back from UK and I couldnt breath during the first days. Eventhough the time I spent in KL was short, the most important thing is I met up with Mei Mei after 1 and half years since we graduated. Leaving KL, heading to my home town - Ho Chi Minh City or called Saigon (the old name). Oh my god, it was even hotter than in KL hahahha. Suprisingly, the custom procedure was fast and I got out of the airport faster as well. However, I had to wait for 3 mins until I called my mom to let her know that I arrived hahaha, as she thought that it would have taken longer time inside the airport and when she met me, she did not even recognize me and my grandmom saw me first.

In Saigon, I met up with my dear best friend who just came back from the States for a 3 weeks visit. It was a coincidence that we met up in Vietnam as none of us knowing that we arrived at the airport on the same date but not the same time though hehhehe. Anyways, we went to thailand together with my family and the trip was so much fun..... Believe me or not, we were best friends for years and this time was the very frist times that we had fotos together hahhaa. Anyway we had a great time and I do not know until when I can see her again.

After Thailand, I went for a Charity trip in the South East area of my country. The trip was fun but I did not like the time consuming of the people, they were always late and I had to wait for them all the time. It is said that ' in vietnam, time is like rubber band, people is always late'. It is true... I really hate it. ON the other hands, I could help the poor people, that was 1 thing made me happy.

So far I am still free and waiting for sigining the contract with Park Hyatt. I dont know when they will call me and they want me to start July. They have not decided what position they will offer me but they already let me tried their uniforms which I had to try over 10 times to find my best one as girls in vietnam are really tiny and I am considered as a big girl in my country hahahah.

While there is nothing to do, I viewed the photos that were taken in UK and Switzerland. I miss my baby so much and also Rohini, we spent so much good time together, we laughed and we partied and so on. I do not know until when I would have a chance to spend time with Rohini like this :(.

Another thing, having a distance relationship is driving me insane. I miss Doruk so much and there is no way that I could see him or talk to him at this moment as he is going to have exam and he has no time to talk to me. I do undestand the situtation but sometimes I just cannot control myself not to think negativly. Sometiems, I really want to give up but I love him so much, I just cannot leave him. Hope he will do fine in his exam, it is so important to him. God bless him.

I think I have written enough on my blog today. I will update more next time. Adios.

GOODBYE SWITZERLAND!

I can't believe that I am once again leaving this beautiful country with full of sweet and happy memories left behind it. It is my second home, I was partialy grew up there. It is the first place that I am away from home, it is the first place that I know how to take care of myself without my parents, where I met so many different people who came from different countries are my dear friends and the most important part is that I found the love of my life, Doruk. If talking about Switzerland, my story about it will never end. One and a half year ago I left this country and never thought that I could come back but then I was back and now leaving it again :(. I was almost crying when I sat on the plan and looking down to the landscape of switzerland but I controlled myself otherwise people might think that Rohini has done something to me to make me cry hahahahha.... The other thing that I do not want to leave switzerland is also because of Doruk, I cannot leave him... I will be missing my fiancee so so much... I just hope that everything will go fine with us.
Before I left Switzerland I got a chance to meet up with Britta, one of my good friends. Even though we havent met each other for quite a while, we still hv good connection and alot to talk about. I dont know what but between I and her, we have some kind of a connection that we all the time get together so well and that feeling I just can fell it and cant describe it, I wish that I had chance to hang out with her more when we were in IHTTI. Anyways, I am really happy for have a friend like her and she is always an active and funny person, she is very lovely and now she is planning to go to vietnam to see me in the near future, hope we can make it.

My Trip to Switzerland with Rohini was a fun and dont know when Rohini and I will get a chance to shop and have fun in switzerland again... I will miss her alot as well, the fun and sadness that we shared together... Rohini, thanks for being my friend and listen to me all the time... Love you!

Shopping in Zurich

Yesterday, Rohini and I went to Zurich for shopping and it was a fun day as Rohini bought some stuffs that are kinda girly and I cant never believe that she is chaning to be girly slowly hahahahah.... It's a good sight though as I think she is getting bored of being boyish :) (Am I right, gila Rohini?) hehehe

After shopping we met up with Britta, our classmate from IHTTI. It was such a long time that we havent met up... hmmm 1 and half year i think. Our conversation was just kepping going on and on... it was really nice to share our sweet memories that we had from IHTTI again. I wish that we just can turn back the time so that our class can be together again :) Monday will be our second meeting :)

stand by me

A nice day out!

Lekhana, Will and I went to Windermere today, it was a nice day out with them and we had alot of fun actually, time passed so fast when we get together. We wanted to have more time in windermere therefore we catched the bus to Kendal earlier at 9.30am, however at the time we reached the train station in kendal, it was too cold therefore we decided to have coffee before we departed. After that i tried to pay for our coffee but I couldnt as the stupid bank block my card again, I just hate this HSBC bank in UK, its not working properly at all... Luckily Lekhana got money with her otherwise I wouldnt know what to do when Im on my own heheh... anyways... it was a nice day out as I got chance to meet Rohini as well :)

Just now I check the job vacancy posting and I saw the vacancies from Park Hyatt with available positions as follow: Guest Service Officer and Assistant Manager. This is kinda worrying me as I dont know whether they will hire me or not, and I dont know which position they will offer me, actually I want to apply for AM but I dont know whether Im ready for it yet but I really want to apply for it... hard huh! Well, I think I hv to think carefully before asking them about it as AM in Park Hyatt is a big responsibility :)

Vietnam is on the top 3 of the wonders of nature :)

According to the official website http://www.new7wonders.com/nature/en/liveranking/ . Vietnam is winning yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy........

Early Easter

Today I went to work and then I got a suprised card for my dear friend hahaha.... I did expect that she sent the card to me... how sweet she is!! THANKS ROHINI.... She made me remember our time in Neuchatel, Switzerland where 'OUR HOME' is. Well, for those who dont know how Neuchatel look like, have a short video clip which I found over youtube to show you how peaceful and beautiful it is. Follow by that is our ABSOLUT IHTTI video ,IHTTI... thats ur house hehehe... Enjoy..... this is also for you ROHINI!!

HO CHI MINH CITY - ECONOMIC GROWTH

Welcome to Vietnam - My First Home

BORINGGGGGGG!!

Everday is the same, its so boring in this place.... Even though there is only 2 months left for me to go back to vietnam or 1 month left to see doruk but It seems to be so long... I am so fed up with this stupid place... so depressed... stupid people, treating the others like S*** especialy the stupid GM. He was talking to the others with no respect so why I should respect him :)

Même si (what you are made of?)

Just like I predicted, we're at the point of no return
We can go backwards, and no corners have been turned
I can't control it, if I sink or if I swim
'Cause I chose the water that I'm in

Ne jamais devoir choisir
Avoir raison ou tort
Au-delà de mes faiblesses
J'ai la force d'y croire encore

Même si l'amour s'enfuit
J'en inventerai les couleurs
S'il est trop tard, pour revenir,
Je remonterai les heures

There's no way,
You're changing,
'Cause some things will just never be mine,
You're not in love this time...but it's alright.

J'aurai voulu t'offrir le meilleur de tout mon être
Au lieu de partir, entre nous tout faire renaître
Plutôt que de mentir,
Aborder nos différences
T'aimer autrement qu'à contre sens

And it makes no difference who is right or wrong
I deserve much more than this
'Cause there's only one thing I want

If it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing but unable to give me anymore

Et ce dont je suis fait
Tout entier je saurai te le rendre
Même s'il faut tout apprendre, tout apprendre

What's your definition of the one?
Comment définir l'amour sans toi ?
Mais prêt à tous les sacrifices je refuse celui là

J'aurai voulu t'offrir le meilleur de tout mon être
These are the waters that I'm in

Même si l'amour s'enfuit
J'en inventerai les couleurs
S'il est trop tard pour revenir
Je remonterai les heures
Et ce dont je suis fait, tout entier
Je saurai te le rendre
Même s'il faut tout apprendre
Même s'il faut tout apprendre
Même s'il faut tout apprendre

Tired.. Pissed Off day

Today I went to work and so early in the morning I already got problem when checking out, the lady took out her Credit card so early from the PDQ machine, so the machine was stuck and i was on hold from the customer service for so long, and finally i sorted it out. However, at the same time my stupid boss keep asking pissing me off, by the way he doesnt know anything but like to talk and ask people to do this and that as if he knows hahahah stupid fella... anyways whole shift was crazy, phone calls... check out... etc. On the other hand, the thing pissed me off the most was about the stupid managers who like to gossip about the other people and this time related to me even though the things passed long time ago. Sometimes people do want to forget about sth but the other busy bodies dont let. well, I was pissed at that time but then in the end of the day, there is no point to argue and talk to such kind of people that do not have the same level of personality like me. Useless, hopeless, selfish, like to dig information and gossiping... thats all they can do from the office, treating the others like S****. This is the first time in my life that i see such managers like that. They are more interested in others people personal life than business of the hotel. Anyways, they dont have attitudes which is called professional, lucky that im going to to leave this place soon otherwise I will mental when working with this kind of people for that long. My dad used to ask me that why dont I extend to work here then i told him that if he wanted his daughter to be a normal person then let me go home otherwise I will go mental hhahha... oh gosh.... talking about these people, I just have no word to describe their nasty personalities. At this moment, I really wish that I could turn back the time when we were in IHTTI, where I graduated.. It was like paradise of happiness to most of the students who used to study there. The friends I had from there were really nice and treated me with warm heart, thats why i love them so much. I really do miss them.

Ordinary day

I finshed work at 11:00pm yesterday, i tried to call Doruk but he is sleeping already i think :) Since he is back from Japan, he doesnt call me that often anymore, he doesnt even text me that often either, I know he is busy but I still feel there is a gap between us..maybe its just my silly thought though... anyway, thats the problem when 2 people doesnt stay together and always wondering what the other half is doing... its s hard :( lets talk about the other things hehe... i finally ordered my iTouch, hope I will get it soon 2 weeks later. I called my aunt today, we had fun, we talked and laughed after years and years...She is a really nice person, she really loves me though... im so happy to have such an aunt like her :) talking to her make me miss my mom, shhhh i havent talked to her for a while...

A HAPPY AND PITY DAY!

Today.. hmm or should I say yesterday hehe.. bcs its already 1.15am here in UK. My day off was gone so fast. I woke up at 10am and checked my email, suprisingly I got an email from Park Hyatt Saigon to ask me for an interview.. I knew that if I did not give up at the first place, I will get a better answer :). However, today is also a happy day for Ian who is Fiancial Controller of Shap Wells hotel, but a sad day for me as today is his last day at work. I am very happy for him bcs he can get out of this stupid place, noone from the office came to say goodbye to him, such a bad management team over here. They put their personal feeling into their professional job too much, I have never seen such an organization like this. I felt bad for him from that point of view, I am sad ofcourse because there wont be anyone from the office that would listen to me like he used to be, no matter where he is , he is still my BUDDY :). As his last day, we, including me, Ian and Lewis (new FC replace Ian, nice guy though), we went out for dinner at a Chinese Restaurant in Penrith, the food was ok but the night out with them was nice, so I enjoyed. When I am back to my room, I talked to Doruk nicely without aruging. It was the nicest talk we have so far sinc he is back. By talking to him, I feel much better and more cheerful. However, my worry about our relationship is still there. I wish I have the ability to follow him wherever he goes, but I cant do it. Omg... help me... I really miss him though... If he didnt call, I would go nut hahahha... there is no word can describe how much I love him :) Hmmm... I guess its time for me to go to bed... Late shift 2moro, dont feel like going to work but I have to keep it up for 2 months then ADIOS STUPIDO SHAP!!! heheheh

ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT MY FIANCÉE

I tried to call him today but he is not picking up the fone or even reply my msg so I'm somehow worrying whether he is alright or not because he is staying alone. Hope he is fine though :) Since he is back from Japan, timing is different so he all the time feel tired. I dont know what's wrong with me these days, eventhough I know that he has reasonable excuses for not replying my msg or calling me when he was in Tokyo, but I still feel very bad and I cry all the time. Maybe I just miss him very much. Im trying to think possitve about our relationship but it doesnt seem to be bright as we have to travel all the time to see each other, but I love him so much.... so no choice :) I have to cheer myself up. Hence, I finally got my holiday fixed so I will visit him in April.... cant wait to see him again.

First post

After reading and viewing my friend, Rohini, blog, I also feel like creating one so that I can write down whatever I am thinking and worrying. Hope it will help. Thanks Rohini :)