Memories

Today, I was viewing my old photos and found that there are actually many 'couple' photos that I am having, viewing all of them made me feel so sad and bad... all the sweet memories just came back to me... again.. tears dropping down and I jux wished that I could turn back the time when we used to be together, everything seemed to be so perfect when we were around but noone knows that the present is just too painful. I dont know I have the courage to view the photos again. My heart is just torn apart. I really miss him and still really love him even though I am trying my best to let it go.. How can I mend this broken heart?

Memory is just memory

After coming back from Carmen Bar, I went to facebook and wanted to change my phofile picture, therefore, I went through the albums. Viewing them making me missing about my old time so much, especially the sweet memories that I had when I went to London, Cambodia and Lugano. My tears just dropped down, I really miss it but I can't help it. I wish I could turn back the time, turn back the time when everything was so sweet and lovely.... Life is always like that, nothing is fair, it's beautiful but also not beautiful at the same time. Some people said that I should delete the photos but I do not and also do not want to... Should take time to forget. :(

:) :( mixed up

It has been a while since I broke up with him but I still really miss him and still really love him... I know I have to pass this but it aint easy, the memories and everything are still there in my head, all the things around my room.. I just can't forget, especially we are still talking, so It doesnt help at all. I decided to break up just bcs I cant stand the distance, I cant stand his behavior but it's true that I was better when I was around him, distance made everything worse. However, he is also a part of this decision as at the moment I left UK, I knew that this relationship aint be the same anymore. He had a choice to hold me back but he also made the decision to let me go. He rather traveled to Tokyo then visit me even just for 2 weeks... I felt shamed on me as I could not even compare to a place... How can that heart be cold and make such a decision. The more I think, the more I feel bad.

Sometimes, I really miss him and wanted to call him but I put my phone down and did not call. I know that it has to end, I have to be strong to pass it... That's what Im telling myself every single day. I look very happy from outside but deep inside my heart, it's broken into small pieces. I just love him too much, I wish that I could earn alot of money, can travel and do whatever I want to make this distance closer, unfurtunately, it's just out of my hands. I cant do anything.... Sadness just over me...

People said that I need to get into another relationship to forget the old one, but it's not easy to find a person that match and understand me. I think I need time to heal this pain... Let see how it goes!! I just cross my finger X.

Time to bed!!!